It's NOT a Beauty Pageant...

 

“It’s not a beauty pageant, it’s a scholarship program”. Probably the most famous line from Miss Congeniality, the 2000 movie starring Candice Bergen, Sandra Bullock, Benjamin Bratt, William Shatner and Michael Caine. It’s repeated several times throughout the movie, and if you’ve never investigated the line for truthfulness, then you’ll just have to trust me. It’s true. It's NOT a beauty pageant. It IS a scholarship program.  

I married a beautiful woman who has an addiction. I knew that she would sometimes disappear for hours on end from time to time, sometimes for a few days, and once or twice a year, for a week at a time. Her addiction is young teen girls and young women who elect to enter and work towards winning scholarship money via the Miss America Pageant program. My wife, along with her mother, have run the local arm of the Miss America Pageant for 30 + years. Locally, there are four “winners” who go on to represent our county and area in the Miss Oregon Pageant in Seaside, Oregon. Two represent our area in the Miss Outstanding Teen Pageant, the other two in the Miss Oregon Pageant. We are proud to recognize that in this time, Allison Cook, who was a student here at Oregon Institute of Technology, went on to win the Miss Oregon title and represent our state in the Miss America Pageant in Atlantic City. We’ve also had two teens win the Miss Outstanding Teen Pageant and go on to represent Oregon in the National Outstanding Teen Pageant. 
 “It’s not a beauty pageant, it’s a scholarship program”. That’s not entirely true. It’s more than that. Much more. It’s a fundraising program. These hard working ladies and teens recently have been raising money for The Children’s Miracle Network for the past few years. They donate their time to local organizations to aid in fundraising. Each girl has a platform that they focus on. It’s their decision, and the platforms vary. It could be bullying, heart disease, 4-H, human trafficking, girl scouting, there are as many platforms as their are participants.

“It’s not a beauty pageant, it’s a scholarship program”. It’s a teaching program. They learn, interview skills, essay writing, resume writing, how to properly fill out and complete paperwork. They learn about current events and focus on a healthy lifestyle. Each one knows that should they win the “crown”, they will be representing the folks from their hometown.

Why am I telling you all of this? Well, first of all, I want to be sure that you know “It’s not a beauty pageant, it’s a scholarship program”. Second of all, the idea came when my beautiful bride read an article to me from Seventeen Magazine. Here it is: 

“Four months ago, Kaitlynn Campbell was living in a group home as a ward of the state of Alabama. Seemingly overnight, her entire life changed: she was crowned Miss Alabama's Outstanding Teen, gained a loving foster family, and received scholarships to five universities. Next up, she's competing to become Miss America's Outstanding Teen (a pageant title considered the little sister to Miss America). 

Cinderella's rags-to-riches story started with a fairy godmother, and Kaitlynn's does, too. Earlier this year, Karron Standridge, a guidance counselor at Kaitlynn's high school, sent her a pamphlet about the pageant. Once Kaitlynn decided to compete, Standridge organized a community effort to make it happen. Teachers donated money, her social worker lined up donations to cover the pageant's entry fee, and people offered free gowns, spray tans, makeup, and manicures. 

When a DIY hair dye treatment went wrong, Kaitlynn visited a salon to fix the color. Her stylist, Shelly Roach, felt called to action when she heard Kaitlynn's story. She and her husband Bryan made the decision to become her foster parents, and welcomed her into their home in May. 

She beat out 41 other girls for the title of Miss Alabama's Outstanding Teen and accepted the award in a floor-sweeping crimson gown.

"Now that I have this title, it's given me the opportunity to speak to people and they actually listen to me, they don't just look at me as just another foster kid," she told AL.com. "I don't want anyone to be looked at like that."

Her platform involves reforming the foster care system and giving voices to those who have suffered from childhood abuse, neglect, and trauma. Alabama has made several strides in improving the foster care system in recent months, and now, her eyes are set on a bigger goal.
"It makes me want the national platform because think about how many lives I've touched as Miss Alabama's Outstanding Teen," she told AL.com. "What I if I could be Miss America's Outstanding Teen? It gives me chill bumps just to think about it."

She'll compete this Saturday in Florida to win the title. She credits this year's life-changing events to her faith. Her Twitter bio reads, "Jesus has turned my whole world upside down and I wouldn't have it any other way."

The other competitors for Miss America's Outstanding Teen are surely worthy of the title, too. But Kaitlynn's unflagging optimism and inspiring story make us want to cheer for her just a little louder than the others. If anyone deserves a night of glamour and a year of sharing her platform with others, it's Kaitlynn.

You can see the actual article here: http://bit.ly/1IR6n1O

 Now, I don’t hang out at pageant practices, and have very little interaction with the participants, but I do get to know a bit about them. And let me tell you, these are some amazing women and young women and teens. They are polite. They have manners. They are focused and have specific goals. And while “It’s not a beauty pageant, it’s a scholarship program”, each and every one are beautiful inside and out. They create and belong to a sisterhood that anyone can join, but only a select few choose to do so. They root for and support each other. And even though they know that there can be only one that will be selected to be the representative, it’s not just the “crown winner” that receives scholarships, others do as well. they do all of this, all the while acquiring habits and qualities that will serve them for a lifetime.  
It’s not a beauty pageant, it’s a scholarship program”. One other thing it teaches. Life lessons. Only one gets to be the title holder. So that means the rest of them are “failures”? Absolutely not. The rest are winners as well. Here’s what one of our local participants, Stephanie Matheson has to say about “failing”. On the local level, she was our “Miss City of Sunshine”.

 I succeed because I fail 

by She Flies With Her Own Wings

 If I had a dollar for every time I ‘failed’ at something, I would be a pretty wealthy person.Sunday morning I received a text that read “Steph I am so sorry! Are you ok?” Yesterday I got home and my mom asked with a sympathetic voice “How’re you doing?” I responded “Good! I’m fine” to both of these questions. I had just competed for the job of Miss Oregon on Saturday night for the last time, and ‘failed’ again. Let me take you through my Miss America journey…

 

When I was in high school one of my teachers told me I should compete in our local pageant. I laughed, thought of the ‘stereotypical pageant girl’ and told her pageants weren’t for me. I grew up playing sports. She twisted my arm, telling me that it was about service, that I interviewed well, and it was a way for me to pay for college. I gave in and decided to compete, not having a clue what this pageant thing was about.  

In 2009 I competed for the title of Miss Klamath County/Miss City of Sunshine. I failed.  

In 2010 I competed for the title of Miss Klamath County/Miss City of Sunshine for a second time. I failed. 

 In 2011 I switched it up and competed for the title of Miss Lane County/Miss University of Oregon. I failed. A few weeks later I competed for Miss Three Rivers. I failed again. 

 In 2012 I went back and competed for Miss Klamath County/Miss City of Sunshine again. I failed. 

The very next day I competed for the title of Miss Southern Gem. I failed once more. At one point someone asked my dad “Is she ever just going to be done with this?” I’m sure she wasn’t the only person who was wondering that. Sometime’s I did myself. But what people on the outside didn’t see, was that each time I failed and didn’t walk away with the crown, I walked away with so much more…  

My interview skills improved, and I learned how to better speak in front of large audiences. I always enjoyed talking, but I learned how to slow my pace down and ‘take someone across the street, not on a safari’. I learned how to live a healthier lifestyle; as an athlete I was always in shape, but when the sports ended I wasn’t burning as many calories. So I learned how to eat healthy food and enjoy it, I learned how to incorporate running, weight-lifting, zumba, and other forms of working out into my daily routines. I learned how to walk in heels, and how to do my hair and makeup. I learned to push myself and believe in myself; talent was always something I struggled with, and I learned that if I tell myself ‘I can’t’ or ‘I don’t’ then I’m right. I learned to break past barriers and tell myself ‘I can and I will entertain’. I learned how to fail graciously, and in front of a large audience of people! I learned how to be confident in the young woman I am.  

Some girls win their first time competing; good for them! I’ve gained so much and grown as an individual from my failures, and you can’t put a price, or crown, on that. In 2013 I competed for the title and job of Miss Klamath County/Miss City of Sunshine. This time, I was fortunate enough to be crowned Miss City of Sunshine 2013. As I began my year of service, I quickly realized that all of my failed attempts had better prepared me to be a titleholder. I had a better understanding of the program, I had a plan for my year, and I had a stronger sense of self than I did when I first competed in 2009. My failures had made me relatable, and had given me a story to share and tie in with my platform. I continued to grow and improve on all of the skills I had learned when I had failed, but I was now also able to use my crown and sash as a soapbox and megaphone to share those lessons and my story with others.  

That summer I competed for Miss Oregon 2013 and failed. It was such a whirlwind of a week, especially being there for my first time, and I left knowing I wanted another chance to compete for the job of Miss Oregon.  

This past year I worked harder than ever before – I spent extra hours in the gym, ate really clean, watched the news more frequently and listened to NPR in the car, I pushed myself in talent and tried something I never thought I would. In April I was incredibly thankful to be crowned Miss Columbia River 2014 with the opportunity to compete at Miss Oregon one last time.  

I had worked so hard and pushed myself in every phase of competition. I set goals for myself. I had pictured my name being called for the Top 10, and had even envisioned my crowning moment. I had done everything in order to be a successful pageant girl. Had I prepared to the best of my ability? Yes. Was I ready for the job? Yes. Would I have made a great Miss Oregon? Absolutely. Along with many of the girls I was competing with. Did I deserve to win? Sure. Did that mean I was entitled to win? Of course not.  

Throughout the week of Miss Oregon, I knew I had done my best in every phase of competition. I had left everything out on the stage and in the interview room. So was I disappointed when my name wasn’t called for the Top 10? You bet! But was I devastated? Not the slightest bit. I knew there wasn’t anything I could have done differently. Different day, different judges, different outcome. I just wasn’t what they were looking for. If we’re measuring winning by who walks away with the crown, then yes, I failed. But that isn’t what this organization is about. I’m walking away from my last time competing with so many priceless life lessons, new friendships (I have 22 new smart, talented, and beautiful sisters), forever being a part of this pageant family, feeling inspired and motivated, not to mention with over $25,000 in scholarships! This is all from failing nine times throughout my six years in the program and only winning twice.  

A common onstage question is “How do you define success?” I define success by never giving up and always do my best. If I do that, I will always walk away a winner. 

 It is weird to think that my time in the Miss America Organization is over and that I will never compete again; but I know that it is because of this program and all of my failures that I have a bright future ahead of me and will succeed in all that I do. ”Experience is what you get when you didn’t get what you wanted.”  

You can find Stephanie's blog here:  She Flies With Her Own Wings 

Teri raised her 2 kids as a single parent, with very limited child support. It’s a humble story. And if you’ve watched pageants on television and imagined that all of these young ladies are debutantes or come from wealthy families, well, no. I’ve seen participants collecting cans and recyclables to raise money to cover the costs. It’s not an organization built on wealth, unless you count the integrity, ethics, morals and friendships that these contestants put “in the bank” and can draw on for a lifetime. Last year, Teri donated over 500 hours of time to the local pageant. Being a director is time intensive. And her monetary paycheck was $0. Work doesn’t pay her to do this. It’s all about love for these young women and giving of herself. When I moved here three years ago, we would often go on rides around our little basin. We’d meet someone on the road, and Teri would not and say, “There’s one of my girls”. Or we’d see someone across a store, same thing. “There’s one of my girls”. Or “there’s one of my girls, and now her daughter is participating”. Countless hours at practice. On the phone. Meeting with girls for coffee to discuss concerns. As I write this, she’s at a fundraiser with “her girls” and the current Board of Directors and Contestant Hostesses. They often work at local banquets to get “paid” with funds that help support the cost of the local pageant. Over the years, fundraisers such as this have helped accumulate a closet (garage may be a better word) full of gowns, shoes, swimsuits and various other items for the girls to use. Several of the gowns in the closet are Mike Benet Formals. My Texas friends will appreciate that.  

Teri and her mom don’t do this alone. They have a Board of Directors which consists of 11 individuals. There are Contestant Hostesses that are assigned one contestant. They work together throughout the process. Other volunteers include a singing coach, interview coach, speech coach…..Locally, there are scholarships awarded from Oregon Institute of Technology and Klamath Community College. There are scholarships paid and provided by local businesses. The dollar amount handed out here is approximately $50,000.  

Teri raised her two kids, but she has hundreds of others that refer to her as “Mama Teri”. And as much as I miss her when she’s gone for “pageant” or “practice”, I know that she’s not just investing in the future of these girls, but in the future of their families. And she gets as good as she gives. It’s not perfect. There are a few along the way who don’t make it or stick it out to the end. Some drop out because “it just isn’t for me”. Some are too busy with school. Others are already taking on the responsibility of helping with family finances. Many of these young ladies have obstacles to overcome, and just aren’t ready to make those changes. But the success rate is high and worth the time and effort. If you have a local pageant affiliated with the Miss America Pageant in your neck of the woods, get involved. It’s there you’ll see that these young folks, well, they’re putting a smile on the future of America.

And you'll learn for yourself that no, it's not a beauty pageant. It truly is a scholarship program.