You Can't Buy It, You Can Earn It, and You Can Give It...

My daddy loves my mama. Heart and soul. I know this because of how he acts around her. How he acts towards her. How he treats her. And how he takes care of her. I know this because of what he does for her. And I know this because of what he doesn't do to her. Yeah. My daddy loves my mama. And what goes hand in hand with that? He respects her. Love and respect.

I've never seen my dad yell at my mom. Some disagreements, but no arguments. I've never seen my dad hit my mom. It's never happened. I've seen him take care of her. Mom always like crushed ice. Back before you would have an ice maker. Well, before we had an ice maker. Come to think of it, we never had an ice maker when I was still living at home. I remember dad taking ice cubes from a metal tray, the kind with the handle you had to pull up on, and stand at the sink, breaking up those cubes with the handle of a butter knife. He took care of mama. Growing up, we spent more time going to mom's family's get togethers than dad's family. More time with mom's family at Christmas. More time at mom's family reunions. Dad never complained, he just drove us there and enjoyed the day. It's the little things you do for your spouse that show your love. And respect.

And inside of this relationship of theirs, maybe I got a glimpse of what is wrong with the world today. We live in a world with no love or respect. Dad was an educator. Teacher first, and eventually an Elementary Principal. And to this day, if he refers to a teacher that taught at his school, or one of the other schools, he addresses them with respect. Miss Sinclair. Miss Beck. Or Mrs. if appropriate. Men were always Mr. Like Mr. Roach. Mr. Fortenberry. His peers, in private, he might refer to by their first name. Mr. Kidwell might be Carlos. But other peers, nope. They were older or had been his superior. Mr. Whitaker was never Hardin. Mr. Stroman was never Thurman. And if he forgot your name, you might become, "Miss Thingmado". Of course, never to your face. Students were the same way. Once I was an adult, we would  run into former students, and after a short (okay, it's my dad, LONG!) visit, he would tell me, "I used to paddle them on a regular basis." Almost always followed by, "But they were good kids. Just being kids." And later in my life, when potential customers and customers would find out who my dad is, they would almost always say, "He was fair." My dad gave respect, and in return, he received respect. He earned it.

Today's world isn't that way. Today we have too many who don't want or care about respect. They want "entitlement." Respect has to be earned, but these days, we don't want to earn anything. We want it given to us because, well, we deserve it! I just finished watching the Olympics in Rio. I noticed that for every event, the top 3 got medals. And not the same medals. Gold, Silver, Bronze. And if you don't place in the top 3, you got some nice memories. Or at least memories. They did not hand out participation medals or trophies. Sure, we respect all of the athletes, but we reward the best because they earned it. Work, effort and sacrifice.

Proudly representing the USA, but no hand over her heart. Disrespectful?

During the Olympics, we had young Gabby Douglas representing our country. A Gold Medal winner. Who elected to stand at attention during the playing of the National Anthem. World stop turning. No hand over her heart? She took the brunt of the media and social media world. Yet...Ryan Crouser and Joe Kovacs did the same thing...crickets. No uproar. No media or social media outrage. And why? Or Why not? Maybe because by then, everyone had "googled" the whole thing to find that while the hand over heart is expected behavior, standing at attention is accepted behavior. Remember, we live in a world where we react first, then get the facts.

Making a stand, or saying, "Look at me?"

And now, Colin Kaepernick, San Francisco 49ers quarterback has refused to stand for the National Anthem. "I am not going to stand up to show pride in a flag for a country that oppresses black people and people of color," Kaepernick told NFL Media in an interview after the game. "To me, this is bigger than football and it would be selfish on my part to look the other way. There are bodies in the street and people getting paid leave and getting away with murder."

Respect is not a law. It's not a requirement. Maybe our Olympians didn't realize that their actions would be viewed as "disrespectful." But Kaepernick, he did. That was his intent. To draw attention. And while some would argue that he has "that right," in his case, I disagree. Like it or not, he's a role model. And role models are, and should be, held to a higher standard. And as a role model, you don't teach or lead by being disrespectful You find other ways.

Respect. Like common sense, it's becoming a rare thing. A thing of the past. Parents don't get it. Teachers don't get it. Our First Responders don't get it. Military members don't get it. We have hate running rampant. Rioting. Looting. Burning. Disruption of lives. This isn't the America I grew up in.

Uncle Sam seems to be saying, "7 billion people...and it comes down to these two..."

I know we have problems in the world, and here at home. We are in election season, and we have (primarily) two children running for President. They call each other names. They lie. They cheat. They are both under some type of investigation of some sort. A lot of folks riding around the sun on this globe, and these are the best options we could come up with. Wow.  If it's about respect, apparently, we don't respect ourselves enough to find decent choices. But we've let them lead us to this point. Politicians don't serve us, we serve them. They have their own laws and sets of rules. And we don't have enough voters that care to vote them out. The Clintons are trying to create a dynasty. The Bush family already had one, and tried to extend it. We have folks voting for one candidate because she's a woman. Others voting for the other candidate because he's not a career politician. Overall, two people that nobody seems to like. Or want. Based on their actions, they don't respect themselves, the don't respect each other, yet their trying to make us believe they will serve and respect us. Protect us. And these are the choices we have given ourselves. Maybe I'm looking at this all wrong. Maybe respecting each other should come second. Maybe, just maybe, we've gone bankrupt on self respect, and that's where we need to start.